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Maret 2008

“Kapan kau akan memakai jilbab Nak?”

“Nanti kalau aku sudah dewasa Bunda!”

“Hari ini dewasa milikmu, hari ini pula kau boleh berjilbab Nak.”

“Nanti Bunda, kalau aku benar-benar telah dewasa!”

“Apa ada beda dewasa dan benar-benar dewasa?”

“Tentu kukatakan ada, umpama sebuah mangga matang dan mangga yang benar-benar matang, mana yang akan bunda pilih?”

“Yang kedua Nak!”

Mei 2012

“Lihat Nak, kau kini sudah benar-benar dewasa! Mengenyam pendidikan melalui universitas, melalui masa variasi remaja, dan sebentar lagi kamu hidup mandiri. Kau bisa berjilbab sekarang Nak?”

“Aku putri dari rahim Bunda yang cantik, bergaya masa kini? Aku tampak lebih anggun menggerai rambut hitamku. Tidak inginkah Bunda melihat putrinya menjadi cantik?”

“Apa seiring dengan jilbab itu kecantikanmu bisa memudar, Nak? Karena Bunda bilang bahwa kecantikan sejati berasal dari dalam.”

“Tapi Bunda, pekerjaan macam apa yang bisa aku dapatkan dengan menutup diri seperti itu?”

“Tak perlu khawatir Nak, semua usaha yang maksimal pasti ada hasilnya.”

“Bunda, aku ingin Bunda melihatku lulus dengan bangga. Setelah aku dapat pekerjaan, semuanya akan kupertimbangkan.”

September 2012

“Uang ini untuk Bunda, gaji pertamaku. Mungkin besok akan kubelikan baju, kosmetik, perlengkapan rumah, dan semuanya.”

“Masih ingat Nak, kau berjanji akan membeli sebuah jilbab dan mengenakannya jika telah meraih suatu pekerjaan?

“Bunda, kebahagiaan seorang wanita ketika ia bisa bertemu dengan pasangan hidupnya. Apa mudah jika jodoh mengenalimu sedangkan apa yang ada kau tutupi rapat? Aih, Bunda seperti anak kecil saja. Lihatlah Leni yang begitu cantiknya, begitu aduhai dan terkenalnya. Apa ia punya jaminan untuk cepat mendapat pasangan hidup?”

“Tapi Nak, ah… tunggu sampai calon suamimu menentukan hal ini. Tidak maukah kau berbakti padanya?”

November 2013

Hari ini Bunda sakit. Rasanya ingin kumenangis sejadi-jadinya melihat Bunda tergeletak lemah di bangsal nomor 9. Suamiku sudah duduk disampingnya, setia menemani sisa hidup.

Pukul 08.00 November 2013

Bunda, lihat pertama kali kukenakan jilbab, tapi bukan seperti ini waktunya. Kenapa harus hari ini jilbab hitam menemani jenazahmu? Bukan untuk sehari menggunakan selendang duka untuk mengantarmu. Bunda, jika kau masih hidup, tentu kau akan bangga menjadikan putri ini dewasa, meraih pekerjaan, menggandeng suami impian dan tentu saja lebih lengkap lagi jika kukenakan jilbab ini lebih awal. Rasanya baru kemarin Bunda menasehatiku tentang hidup dan akhirat, dan rasanya baru kemarin kulihat Bunda tersenyum menyikapi keluhanku untuk enggan mengenakan pakaian takwa.

Bunda, walau penyesalan selalu datang terlambat, tapi akan lebih baik jika semua pelajaran yang baru aku lalui hari ini bisa kujalankan. Aku tidak ingin kehilangan Buda lagi di surga sana.

Tunggu aku, Bunda! Jilbab ini akan mengantarmu ke surga Illahi, mengantar doa melalui pantulan langit dan kuharap sangat malaikat Ridwan mengantar Bunda dengan amalan anak solehah.

Wahai saudariku seiman dan seperjuangan, inginkah kita melihat bunda kita terbujur kaku dalam keadaan kecewa padahal ia sangat mencintai kita dan menginginkan kita menjadi anak yang solehah? Belajarlah kenakan jilbab ukhti wahai saudariku karena itu sudah menjadi kewajiban dari Allah SWT. Sesungguhnya dengan jilbab ukhti akan lebih tenang dan nyaman dalam menjalankan kehidupan. Tunjukkan bahwa engkau pun mencintai Allah dengan menjalankan semua yang diperintahkan dan meninggalkan semua yang dilarangNya.

(saudaramu yang sangat mencintaimu karena Allah)

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